The Seeker

I joined a bible study group and... I LOVE it. Today God made me smile even though I am dealing with a bunch of ugly crap by basically making the entire lesson about what I am feeling... Imagine that, haha.

The opening began with a girl speaking about the values of trust, persistence and patience. I could not be less patient of a person. I want what I want now and when that does not happen, you better get out of the way. She talked about praying.

I pray. I pray for what I want. "Dear God, please let an amazing apartment for $600/month open in downtown Georgetown". That is certainly a kind of prayer that can be helpful... ask big, ask specific. However, the kind of praying that I need to get better at is the "Dear God, please bring me comfort while I wait for your will to unfold". We had a passage in ACTS from this week which says that God has made a time and a place for each man. I am on the road, everyday I am in my time and my place and waiting is actually my action for the day. Wait to meet the right person, to know yourself better, to appreciate what comes to you. Stop grabbing at every experience trying to make it a life altering one and just appreciate the life that transpires between these huge momentous occasions.

We also talked about Paul's journey to Athens and his encountering of the idols. What are my idols? The physical idols and the idols of my heart. My friend Jennifer had an enlightening answer.. and AH HA of an answer to what are the idols of today. 'Relationships' she said. Interesting. Relationships can be an idol when treated in an unhealthy way. So often we cling to other people. In Eat, Pray, Love the author describes clinging to a lover as if he was the last helicopter leaving Saigon. I think we have all, at one time or another, felt that way. I know I have. And that is a form of idolatry. The only thing that we should cling to with that level of intensity, is our relationship with God. At the end of the day, no matter what, that is the only thing that can not disappear. And, if that is the strongest part of your life, what an amazing sense of comfort that provides! The thing most important to you in the world, can never be taken away.

Today that message has kept me afloat. It has helped me to reprioritize things in my head. It has brought me peace in dealing with an ending relationship and the start of exploring the road ahead. No matter what happens, as long as I feed my relationship with God, I will be okay.